And the winner is...

My 'alternative' fighter of the year award - henceforth known as The Fran - goes to David Haye. The heavyweight division has been dreadfully dull for what seems like an eternity, but finally a fighter has come along capable of generating some much needed excitement. And he's British. 'Nuff said.

Shurely shume mistake?

The BBC Sports Personality of the Year top-10 shortlist has just been revealed:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tv_and_radio/sports_personality_of_the_year/8386162.stm
Unbelievably the current (and 14 time) world darts champion Phil Taylor is not on it. This year, besides reclaiming his world title, Taylor has won over twenty other titles - his match record is 190 wins against just 11 losses - earning prize money of over £760,000 (he has also won 36 of the last 44 tournaments he has competed in). During a match in April he recorded the highest ever 3-dart average for a televised event – an unbelievable 116.01. Yet the BBC doesn’t think he’s one of the top ten sportspeople of the year? Back in January, I declared Taylor to be the greatest living Briton:
http://floatlikeabutterflysting.blogspot.com/2009/01/hes-got-power.html
Since then, he has simply become even greater. Last time Taylor won the world title, in 2006, he was nominated for the BBC accolade. His achievements this year make 2006 look fairly average (by his amazingly high standards). So I can only assume his omission from the shortlist is some kind of administrative error which will be corrected shortly. Either that, or the BBC intends to reward him with their Lifetime Achievement award. Or possibly the Unsung Hero award?

The day football died

Make no mistake, football didn't die because it's too corupt, because there are too many cheats playing the game. It died because nobody in authority is prepared to do anything about it. Henry would not have been able to get away with such a blatant breach of the rules if he'd been playing 'American' football - there are multiple officials on the field, and even when they fail to spot an obvious infringement, video replays are used. Players are also punnished retrospectively after the completion of games. So that's it for me - until the world footballing authorities decide to act, I'm sticking to watching the NFL.

Haye, Haye, USA

Congratulations to David Haye for bringing some long-needed excitement back to the heavyweight division. The Americans are going to love him - the only bad news is that he's stuck with a mandatory defense against John Ruiz, probably the most boring fighter on the planet.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Apologies for the lack of activity recently. Believe it or not, I forgot my password. Anyway, I'll try and make up for lost time...

So where's the catch (weight)?

Wasn't The Mayweather v Marquez fight supposed to be at a catchweight of 144 pounds? So how come Mayweather weighed in at 146 pounds? Apparently, he'll have to pay a $600,000 penalty for not even attempting to get down to the contract weight. But that's scant consollation for Marquez, who was duly pummelled by a man possibly a stone (or more) heavier at the start of the contest. Don't get me wrong, Mayweather is an unbelievable fighter - but, boy, does he like to play things safe.

Whisper it, but Marquez could win

After a few quiet months, some exciting fights are on the horizon, the first of which is Mayweather v Marquez this weekend. Mayweather is the clear favourite, but Marquez should not be underestimated. Let's not forget, despite being knocked down three times by Pacquiao in the first round of their initial fight, Marquez went on to dominate the contest and should have been given the decision. Although I didn't see the rematch, many analysts thought Marquez also won that fight. Mayweather has the weight advantage, and is undoubtedly an exceptional fighter. But can he keep taking such long breaks between fights without the 'ring rust' eventually affecting his performance? It should certainly be a great fight.

The greatest?

Robbie Blake began his professional football career at Darlington, signing on from the club's youth academy. Fifteen years later he scores the winning goal in a Premiership game against the reigning champions Manchester United (and what a goal it was too - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P29dA9wgi4w) . Does this single act make him Darlo's most accomplished player - ever? I think it just might.

Change the Rules! (No.3) - cricket

England have just won the toss for the final Ashes test, meaning that they have had this honour four out of five times in the series. This is completely ludicrous. Wining the coin toss and being able to decide whether to bat or bowl first is an obvious advantage in cricket. So it’s common sense that, in any series, it should be divided equally between the two teams. A coin should be tossed before the first test, and then for the remainder of the series the two captains should take alternate turns in deciding whether to bat or bowl first (obviously, in a five test series, it would have to be split 3-2). Allowing one team to have this advantage in four out of five tests (with the possibility of having it in all five) is ridiculous – the equivalent of allowing a chess player to have the white pieces more often than their opponent in a multi-game match. It simply isn’t cricket.

Major Tom

Make no mistake about it, had Tom Watson won the Open on Sunday it would have been the greatest single sporting achievement of all time - eclipsing Ali's defeat of Foreman or even an 8th Tour win by Lance Armstrong. To come so close to triumphing at such a major sporting event at the age of 59 was simply a phenomenal performance - even if he couldn't (quite) get across the winning line. Never has the climax to a sporting event been so anticlimactic - but that should not undermine the magnitude of Watson's achievement. One is reminded of the words of Eddie Futch, Joe Frazier's trainer, at the end of the 'Thrilla in Manila': "Sit down son; it's all over. But no one will ever forget what you did here today."

Tour de Force

Let's be clear about this. If Lance Armstrong wins this Tour de France he will become, unquestionably, the greatest sportsperson who has ever lived. Right dad?

Final prediction

Here's hoping my uncanny ability will work one more time: Barcelona to win a disappointing game.

Cheer up Alan Shearer

Brilliant! Never has Schadenfreude tasted so sweet. Here's hoping they go bust.

I'd love it if they go down, love it

I wanted to write a post about the Geordies, and why it would be fantastic to see them get relegated on Sunday. However, my hatred for them is such that everything I composed seemed to contain a plethora of swear words - and my dad reads this. Instead, I'm posting a link to this article from The Times which appeared earlier in the season. The first three paragraphs sum it up rather nicely - except their attendances in the early 1990s were nearer 10,000. Plus they win f*ck all (sorry dad)

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article4761813.ece

Once more for luck...

The prediction all ManU supporters wanted to hear: United will pay for not taking their chances in the first leg - Arsenal to progress to the Champions League final.

Superfight? Not quite

Hatton v Pacquiao this weekend is a big fight, no question – but it’s no Leonard v Hagler. Hatton’s limitations were brutally exposed by Mayweather and it’s obvious he’s only comfortable when fighting at 140 pounds. To be considered great in this day and age, you need to be able to perform at multiple weights – or at least dominate at a ‘true’ weight class. And whilst Pacquiao is unquestionably a great fighter, I don’t rate him as the pound-for-pound king – I’d put him third behind Marquez (who won at least one, and arguably both, of their fights) and Hopkins; only fourth if (as seems increasingly likely) Mayweather comes out of retirement. Furthermore, it’s unclear how comfortable Pacquiao will be fighting at such a weight (you can dismiss his last outing - De La Hoya was clearly shot). Don’t forget, he started out at 112 pounds – indeed, if he beats Hatton, Pacquiao will become the first boxer in history to claim a lineal title in four divisions (112, 126, 130 and 140). Hatton has been dominant at Junior Welterweight for a number of years, so certainly has a chance of winning. But that won’t make him the pound-for-pound king. And this isn’t a superfight.

The rat deserts the sinking ship...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/o/oldham_athletic/8025908.stm

How predictable. Well good ridance I say - now bring back Hodgson on a lifetime contract.

Bet your house on it

Given my previous record, I've been asked by some Man Utd supporters to make public my verdict on the outcome of tomorrow's tie. Happy to oblige - Utd will be knocked out and Porto will advance to the semi-finals. Guaranteed fact.

How sporting?

The latest Observer Sport Monthly Top Ten - most sporting gestures - can be viewed here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/mar/29/10-sporting-gestures

Since I expect they will (once again) fail to print my response, I’ll detail it here. The main problem is that many of the gestures, laudable though they are, weren’t made by losers. Jack Nicklaus only conceded Tony Jacklin’s putt in the 1969 Ryder Cup after he’d already secured a tie in the match, thereby ensuring that the USA retained the trophy. Would Nicklaus have made a similar concession if Jacklin’s two-foot effort had been to win the cup? Similarly, would Paolo di Canio have caught the ball against Everton if West Ham had been losing the match? Both Andrew Flintoff and John Landy were victorious, whilst Bobby Jones’ gesture is somewhat diminished by the fact that it was made during the opening round of the tournament, not on the final day - when the consequences of his actions would have been far more significant. The last two entries on the list are plain nonsense, which only leaves the gestures by Lutz Long, Stirling Moss and Judy Guinness as truly meaningful. A number of sporting figures who repeatedly made such gestures don’t feature in the list. Legendary batsman Brian Lara always ‘walked’, even though the majority of his contemporaries refused to do likewise. Snooker star Jimmy White was the epitome of sportsmanship, frequently owning up to accidental fouls which the referee had failed to spot. And how could such a list fail to include The Corinthians, who believed that 'fair play' was an intrinsic part of football? When a penalty was awarded against them, the goalkeeper stood to one side, leaving an empty net. Can you get any more sporting than that?

April Fools?

You couldn't make this up!

http://www.uroclub.com/

Fallacious prediction #2734

Okay, I know I should have learnt my lesson after predicting that Man Utd might have blown it by only drawing 0-0 at Barcelona in the Champions League last season. I just have this feeling they're going to pay the price for not converting any of the chances they created against Inter last week. The fact they were so dominant against Fulham at the weekend only increases my fears. I just don't see United playing that well again on Wednesday - and surely Inter can't play as badly as they did in the first leg? If it wasn’t Mourninho I’d certainly favour United – but as it’s him, I’m afraid I’m expecting the worst…

Say It Ain't So, Joe

It was disappointing to learn of Joe Calzaghe’s decision to retire from boxing. Despite his unbeaten record, it’s hard to call Calzaghe a true great – he just hasn’t fought enough quality opponents. Having dominated a largely uninspiring intermediate weight division, he’d finally moved up to a ‘true’ weight class. But he only fought twice at light heavyweight (being knocked down in both fights) – against a 43 year old who many experts thought beat him, and a 39 year old who was completely shot. Calzaghe claims that throughout his career he never ducked anyone, although Sven Ottke and Dariusz Michalczewski might disagree. Certainly, one has to question why Calzaghe wasn’t prepared to take a couple more fights at light heavy, against quality opponents such as Chad Dawson. And surely, given the closeness of their first fight, Hopkins deserved a rematch (apparently B-Hop was even prepared to come over to the UK for that). Calzaghe seems to think that by retiring undefeated he’s guaranteed his legacy, ala Rocky Marciano. Perhaps. But both Ottke and Ricardo Lopez also retired as undefeated champions – and who remembers them?

Simply Super

The current NFL season (that’s American football to the uninitiated) culminates this weekend, with Superbowl XLIII. And what a season it has been - full of great games and plenty of upsets. There can’t be anyone on the planet who would have believed when it started back in September that the Arizona Cardinals would make it all the way to the showpiece event – indeed, despite winning their division, few pundits thought they’d even make it through the first week of the playoffs. This unpredictability is what makes the NFL so great – and provides such a refreshing change from the monotony of Premiership football, where the same teams continue to dominate year after year. Let’s hope Sunday’s game provides a fitting finale to a wonderful season – and my fear that the Cardinals could get blown away by the Pittsburgh Steelers proves unfounded.

He’s got the Power

Last weekend Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor became world darts champion for the 14th – yes 14th - time. Forget about the argument that darts isn’t really a sport – which I expect is only made by people who haven’t actually played it (or those who do play, but can’t manage to score more than 26). Frankly, I don’t care if you’re talking about tiddlywinks or knitting – to be the best in the world at anything on 14 occasions is simply extraordinary. Taylor’s record at the world championships is phenomenal – he’s lost only four matches at the PDC event since its inception in 1994, failing to reach the final just once. In fact, forget about calling him the greatest sports person in the country – I hereby declare Taylor to be the greatest living Briton.